Planning your Money before your Marriage
When you are thinking about getting married, it is good to think through about your finances before taking the plunge. The engagement ring is only the first of many big expenses. After the proposal, most couples spend a lot of time deciding on the bridal gown & accessories, the photo-shoot, the banquet, personalized wedding favors, bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts, and even the honeymoon, yet haven’t planned for the day to day finances after the marriage. Are you one of them?
Many couples go into marriage with no idea on how to manage their money. Conflicts over money are one of the main problems reported by married couples. Have you ever quarreled with your partner over how much was spent on that Liverpool jersey? Or the latest Gucci bag that can’t hold anything other than a wallet?
Your money, my money, our money?
Before the wedding, the couple should get together and work out a financial plan. There must always be open communication between both parties on all financial matters. This is a key point that many couples miss. With the union of a marriage, what was once “yours” now becomes “ours.” A married couple needs to look at their total income, debts and savings as belonging to both of them. In a marriage, two become one; this includes all aspects of your life. You become one in your emotional, physical, spiritual and financial relationships. There is no more “mine,” it becomes “ours.”
Marriage = Financial Partnership?
Nothing dampens your mood from the fantastic honeymoon faster than money woes. In their haste to live happily ever after, many couples don’t do their homework before marriage and are often unpleasantly surprised to learn that they’re starting out their next life chapter married to a spouse who has very different financial priorities.
Here are 4 tips to ensure you’ll be able to say “I do” with no regrets instead of “I wish I knew,” after you tie the knot:
Discuss your spending patterns with your partner (i.e. know much each of you spend each month, compared to how much you earn in total income each month)
- Too many couples have no idea on their cash flow and end up getting in trouble by running up credit card debt, and other debts that their income cannot pay for.
- Too many couples also become a control freak after they are married due to the difference in spending culture. By discussing and opening up, you are able to manage each other’s expectations and breathing space in terms of your personal spending.
Be frank to each other about your financial standing (i.e. any credit card debts, school loans outstanding etc)
- It’d be a rude shock to your spouse if these aren’t ironed out in the first place. You may have been lavishing on him/her with exquisite dinners and gifts and building up a deeper debt which your spouse will eventually be part of!
Plan your big ticket items together (i.e. children, house, car, holiday, retirement etc)
- By knowing what are the priorities that will be requiring quite a fair bit of your money, you can adjust your spending plan and create the ability to save for things you need or want in the future.
Plan your ‘back-ups’ when mishaps happen (i.e. knowing each other’s insurance coverage and planning for more adequate insurance for the family)
- While this is a very rare topic of discussion, it is crucial to know if you & your spouse are adequately insured. When mishaps strike, it is always the other party that bears the consequences. By providing adequate coverage for yourself, you can free your spouse from the painful burden you leave behind. Seek a trusted professional financial advisor for guidance.
Remember, when doing any planning or making any decisions, always involve your spouse in the discussion and come to a conclusive decision. While there will be times (and I believe many), that both of you will not come to an agreement, you will need to compromise and see who has the greater weight in the decision making process. After the decision is made, both of you are to support each other and not to blame when things don’t work out well
Fairy-tale wedding? Budget-conscious wedding?
Marriage preparation can be really hectic and stressful, depending on how fancy you want to get. Add the stress of trying to stick to a wedding budget, and you could be in for a rocky beginning. Knowing where you stand financially may influence your plans for the wedding itself. If you’ve got a huge outstanding sum of loans, do you really want to double your debt with an expensive wedding?
A successful wedding is not measured by how much you spent for the event. What is an adequate cost to you may differ greatly from another couple. Work on a comfortable budget taking into account your debts and your income. Challenge yourself to create the most memorable wedding with the fixed resource you have. You will end up feeling much happier!
Will we ever agree?
A good marriage is about finding a good balance. Instead of ‘me’, it’s ‘we’, that means willing to negotiate and to compromise. If you find yourself at odds about your financial agreements, stay calm and discuss openly about your views. Communication is the key to successful financial and family planning. If you are still unable to agree, attend premarital preparation & counseling. Couple counseling can help you see each other’s values and have a deeper understanding of each other.
Couples must work together in managing their finances in an open, committed relationship so that the two becomes one loving family unit!
For information about financial planning and money matters for your marriage, please visit Bliss Concepts at www.blissconcepts.mono.net
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